UndeadEye's Thoughts and Feelings ~ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ♡

UndeadEyes

Mama Undead
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Hello, My Dears.

This is my journal, where all my thoughts and feelings will be written out to get them off my chest and out of my head.
This means, topics of depression, thoughts on things I experience through RP, possible angry posts, and the like.

Please, do not post on my journal.
If there's a post you'd like to talk about, be it just to discuss, to see if I'm doing well, etc., private message me.

Thank you for visiting.
 

UndeadEyes

Mama Undead
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~ Today's Topic ~
Smut and Literacy
Somewhere along the way, I've noticed that people generally seem to believe that people who do/write smut must be illiterate or at a low-level of literacy.
What's more interesting is it's not the literate or well-versed people who believe this--it's the illiterate.

I say this because, on those rare occasions, where I am craving a smut (with plot) story, the majority of people who message me are people who are nowhere near what I require. I am considered an advance-literate or high-literate individual. I try to focus on flow, spelling, grammar, punctuation, lack of fragmented sentences, etc. Now, I make mistakes (plenty--I'm human too), so I never expect perfection from my partners.

No matter how much I write about the requirements of my partners, it seems they just assume my words mean nothing or completely skip it.
I have had to turn multiple people down because their posting history shows they are nowhere near where I would need them to be to enjoy the roleplay.

It is not in hate or judgement, but with the knowledge that I require a specific level of literacy and fluidity in my partner's writing to feel a desire to reply. I would not play a video game full of bugs and errors because they would take me out of the game and back into reality, and the same applies to Roleplay. The more errors I can spot, especially when they happen every sentence or two, removes me from the world we're creating and returns me to the world I'm trying to escape mentally for a short time.

I believe people see smut as just a way to get their rocks off, which, to be fair, it often is. However, there are people who desire a deep story with a heavy sexual tone to it. It's meant to last longer than a one-and-done scenario. We are desiring a true combination of our creativity and sexual prowess to achieve something great.

Smut can be more than just sex. It can be written by those who are considered advance in their literacy. It is not just for those who write one-liners and want to end after a single orgasm.

For some, smut is an art and it takes a talent to write it properly.
 
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UndeadEyes

Mama Undead
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~ Today's Topic ~
Trying Our Hardest for Writing Home

I try really hard to do my best for Writing Home.
We don't make decisions without discussion and, often, with the input of our users as well.

Yet, it seems some of our changes are always going to insult someone.
For instance, I am very aware we will lose a large base of people simply on the fact we don't allow Incest pairings.

When we instigated our Taboo Pairing Defining rules, it was done to keep people from working around the incest rule.
It was not to attack anyone who may not have defined their pairings, but simply a decision made by a group of users as means to keep our community following its own rules.

So, it both made me laugh and face palm when a newer user immediately deleted their account upon realizing they had to make this change (as they were one of the people that made us come to this decision to add the rule).

It was hard to tell if it was because of them feeling 'called out' or, as we feared, was trying to use a vague term to get around the no incest rule.

In the end, we aren't making rules to hurt people but to better protect our users and reduce the work required for our admins and moderators as we grow.
The more careful we are with our rules and requirements, the harder it is for people to sneak around and try to undermine them.

We're coming in on a year old ~ Wow ~ but we still have a lot of growing to do. :)
Things will change. We'll learn from our mistakes and shortcomings.
We'll add more and create amazing things.

However, we want to ensure our site is a comfortable and caring place.

We may need to have a decent list of rules, but we try our hardest to be kind of people as most people don't break rules on purpose.
However, skirting around the biggest rules (banned subject matters) is always going to be dangerous.
We understand new people may copy-past a thread from another site and forget to edit out an incest pairing, so we let them know.
It's using loose terminology (taboo pairings) and trying to find a way to get around the rules that cannot be seen as an accident.

In the end, we'll always be kind and caring to our users, believing innocent before guilty, choosing reminders before warnings and warnings before bans.
 
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UndeadEyes

Mama Undead
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~ Today's Topic ~
Communication during Conflict/Disagreement


There is, in my personal opinion, a heavy lacking in proper communication during roleplay.
There is plenty of communication prior, but what people fail to do is communicate DURING.

When something goes wrong or someone feels that the roleplay isn't going as planned, there seems to be a constant theme in how this is handled among the majority.

Example:
"Hey, I noticed we kind of rushed through this important part of the roleplay..."
"Well, fine, let's just stop! Clearly, we're not communicating because you weren't clear enough about your wants!"

There's a clear disconnect and defensiveness that comes in the way of response to one party pointing out a problem.
The sad thing is, there shouldn't be.
It's alright to get defensive if you're attacked by someone, but it's unfair to lash out when someone is wanting to discuss an issue.

Because the above example should be solved easily.

Example:
"Hey, I noticed we kind of rushed through this important part of the roleplay..."
"Oh, sorry, do you want to go back and re-do it or do you want to just make sure the next one has more details?"
"Either would be great, thanks! I should have been more clear about how important this part of the story was to me."
"Hey, it happens, don't worry about it."

Adults, which we should all be on most of these types of sites, need to know how to communicate and not immediately take offense to problems.
Sometimes, we have a bad day and post badly.
Sometimes, we're tired and we post incorrectly.
Sometimes, we rush due to excitement or feeling we need to post fast due to an IRL time restraint.
Sometimes, we're making a repeated error.

A lot happens and sometimes it NEEDS to be addressed.

Pointing out an issue isn't rude.
Pointing out a problem isn't rude.
Pointing out an error that keeps happening isn't rude.

As long as it's brought up without anger or riddled with accusations and insults, it's good to bring it up.
If there is a problem, partners should talk about it before it blows up or becomes too big.
Listen to them.
Hear them.
Learn from it.

Immediately jumping to shifting blame or quitting instead of working it out shows immaturity and an inability to accept fault.
This is not how we grow as roleplayers.

I had a roleplay going once (on another site) and the partner and I both felt we were getting annoyed with each other due to how it was going. When we finally had to address the issue, we both admitted our faults, our failure to bring up our issues earlier, etc. We admitted we FAILED to communicate.
It ruined the roleplay, but we both accepted fault and were able to move on respectfully.

Refusing to listen or communicate is not how we grow.
It's not how we learn.

It's okay to make mistakes and we need to learn that.
We need to be able to face our mistakes and go; "You're right, this is my mistake. I'm sorry. Let me fix it."
It's alright to also go, "Yes, this is my mistake and I'll fix it, but I feel that I need you to communicate more about your expectations before we continue so I don't repeat that mistake unknowingly."

Adults can communicate.
If you're not communicating, you're not in a proper partnership, which is what makes a roleplay work.

If you read this, I ask that, next time you have an issue rising up in a roleplay, attempt to discuss it.
Stay calm.
Act like an adult.

Listen and Learn.
 
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UndeadEyes

Mama Undead
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Messages
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Location
Western USA
Website
www.youtube.com
~ Today's Topic ~
One-Sided Rivalries

Unfortunately, no matter how we may internally feel about ourselves, there is always going to be someone who actively sees you as a threat, a rival, or as someone who they have to overshadow. This is because, no matter how low you feel about yourself, someone likely feels worse about themselves and need to lash out to feel validated.

As of late, we have had to remove a member from our site and our discord due to a one-sided rivalry. Despite not actively being part of it, I was able to spot the tension growing. Luckily, I was not alone in seeing this and went on to confirm it with other people in communication with them. I have been nothing but friendly, as is my nature, and my job to set a good foundation of our desires to be seen as a kind and caring place. Despite that, somehow, they grew more and more resentful of my existence on my own site and Discord.

It came to a head when they asked to have their account deleted, something we saw coming.
Once verified by @Writing Home , they went on to be a little disrespectful to their desire to leave.
To us, it felt like a grab for attention, something they had been known to try and do on the Discord as well.
Because we try not to give attention-seekers attention, Writing Home remained calm and told them "We're happy you feel that way. Have a great day."

Of course, they, thinking it's me, then go on to send back an insult toward my art, only solidifying their insecurity and jealousy when it came to me.
Once more, Writing Home replied calmly with another wish that they have a nice day.

Unfortunately, there will always be people who desire and crave attention. When they fail to get this attention, they often double down.
If they see the attention going to someone else, they begin to create a rivalry in their own head.

When I began posting my art on our discord, they decided to post theirs, even pointing out how 'some just draw better than others', to which I felt a shot fired because I already knew they had an issue with me. Whether either of us drew better was in the eye-of-the-beholder and so I simply said nothing.

The main male she talked with on the Discord is also a friend of mine, so perhaps she felt he was giving too much attention to me over her (even though she was supposedly married and I am single--not that this has any reason as to why I talk with my male friends).

I'm not here to be a rival with anyone. Though I may have low self-esteem, I am proud of my abilities to draw, I am proud of my looks/body, and I am proud to be a friendly person. I'm also very proud to be the lead-admin of this site that is full of friendly and kind people.

More so, I'm in my thirties. I cannot allow users to 'get under my skin' with petty insults that I know aren't true.
One thing I often say to people who try to insult me is; "You can't call a Nun a whore and think she'll believe it."

Acting like a child when you realize you're losing in a rivalry YOU created in YOUR head, which the other person isn't even actively part of, only reflects on you. It shows your immaturity and your lack of stability. It shows your need for therapy as your desire for attention is so strong you will try to hurt others to get it.

I have been jealous of people--for their beauty, the things they have, etc. You know what I do in turn? I accept that they simply have these things. It's not them who caused me not to have them too. I either learn to accept this and continue engaging with them, or I quietly back away if I feel it's dangerous to my mental health to stay.

There's no point in rivalry unless it's friendly, and even then, there's a fine-line you have to be cautious of.

Be kind to one another, members of Writing Home.
We're here to support and lift you up and we want you to be able to do the same for others.

Now, before I sign off, I'd like to address one thought I know some people might have.

"If it didn't bug you, then why are you talking about it?"

Talking about anything, even a faint annoyance, is a better outlet than letting it sit and fester. It's something I have learned from my many years of therapy. Although my feelings are not hurt, the concept and idea that someone had these feelings and went to the extent of trying to insult me to get attention or a rise out of me is what leaves me in a headspace.

So, I write out what is floating in that headspace to free it from my mind.
 
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