~ Today's Topic ~
Communication during Conflict/Disagreement
There is, in my personal opinion, a heavy lacking in proper communication during roleplay.
There is plenty of communication prior, but what people fail to do is communicate DURING.
When something goes wrong or someone feels that the roleplay isn't going as planned, there seems to be a constant theme in how this is handled among the majority.
Example:
"Hey, I noticed we kind of rushed through this important part of the roleplay..."
"Well, fine, let's just stop! Clearly, we're not communicating because you weren't clear enough about your wants!"
There's a clear disconnect and defensiveness that comes in the way of response to one party pointing out a problem.
The sad thing is, there shouldn't be.
It's alright to get defensive if you're attacked by someone, but it's unfair to lash out when someone is wanting to discuss an issue.
Because the above example should be solved easily.
Example:
"Hey, I noticed we kind of rushed through this important part of the roleplay..."
"Oh, sorry, do you want to go back and re-do it or do you want to just make sure the next one has more details?"
"Either would be great, thanks! I should have been more clear about how important this part of the story was to me."
"Hey, it happens, don't worry about it."
Adults, which we should all be on most of these types of sites, need to know how to communicate and not immediately take offense to problems.
Sometimes, we have a bad day and post badly.
Sometimes, we're tired and we post incorrectly.
Sometimes, we rush due to excitement or feeling we need to post fast due to an IRL time restraint.
Sometimes, we're making a repeated error.
A lot happens and sometimes it NEEDS to be addressed.
Pointing out an issue isn't rude.
Pointing out a problem isn't rude.
Pointing out an error that keeps happening isn't rude.
As long as it's brought up without anger or riddled with accusations and insults, it's good to bring it up.
If there is a problem, partners should talk about it before it blows up or becomes too big.
Listen to them.
Hear them.
Learn from it.
Immediately jumping to shifting blame or quitting instead of working it out shows immaturity and an inability to accept fault.
This is not how we grow as roleplayers.
I had a roleplay going once (on another site) and the partner and I both felt we were getting annoyed with each other due to how it was going. When we finally had to address the issue, we both admitted our faults, our failure to bring up our issues earlier, etc. We admitted we FAILED to communicate.
It ruined the roleplay, but we both accepted fault and were able to move on respectfully.
Refusing to listen or communicate is not how we grow.
It's not how we learn.
It's okay to make mistakes and we need to learn that.
We need to be able to face our mistakes and go; "You're right, this is my mistake. I'm sorry. Let me fix it."
It's alright to also go, "Yes, this is my mistake and I'll fix it, but I feel that I need you to communicate more about your expectations before we continue so I don't repeat that mistake unknowingly."
Adults can communicate.
If you're not communicating, you're not in a proper partnership, which is what makes a roleplay work.
If you read this, I ask that, next time you have an issue rising up in a roleplay, attempt to discuss it.
Stay calm.
Act like an adult.
Listen and Learn.