✄ Saying No

Writing Home

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Nov 8, 2020

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For many of us, be it in real life or on the internet, saying 'no' can be hard.
Writing Home wants to help users both say and accept the word 'no'.

Writing Home wants users to feel that they have the power to stand up for themselves,
to remove guilt users may feel when saying 'no' and to help them enforce their boundaries.

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The Importance of Saying No

Saying No

Here's a few important things to remember when saying or being told 'no'.

No is a full sentence.
No is a full answer that does not require explanation.
No is a full-stop answer.

Saying no, in whatever way you say it, is how you help users know your boundaries.
Partners can then accept your 'no' and move on or they can work with you to find common-ground.

Ways to say 'no' include but are not limited to:

"Do you want to roleplay this plot."

"No thank you. It doesn't interest me."

"Can I do these kinks in the roleplay?"

"No, they make me uncomfortable."

"Will you double for me?"

"My thread clearly stated that I won't double."

Once you've given your no and have stated your lack of interest in what is being offered or requested of you, there is always a chance someone may double down. If this happens, reiterate your stance to create your boundary. If this fails, you can leave the conversation and either ignore or block them if you feel it is warranted.

If any form of harassment begins, be it name calling or otherwise, report the post and block the user.

Take Steps to Avoid Harassment

The blocking feature is the strongest 'no' you can give someone.

Admins and Moderators are here to help should harassment be reported, but the first step when dealing with harassment is to use the block feature.
If a user is unwilling to block a user who is harassing them, they may need to question if that harassment is worth reporting.

Staff members want to ensure everyone is comfortable, but we rely on our users to know how to fend for themselves and take the steps needed to protect themselves when being harassed or bothered by another user.

We're here to protect you in the worst case scenario (duplicate accounts to harass, asking friends to contact someone who has blocked them, etc), but the first step needs to be taken by you, the user.

The Importance of Accepting 'No' as a Response

Never Force a Partner

When told no, it means no.

It is 100% acceptable to continue to try and work something out or find a middle-ground if one seems possible if an initial idea is shot down. However, it is not acceptable to push someone into something they aren't interested in or comfortable with.

  • All because you, for instance, enjoy BDSM, does not mean someone else does.

  • If someone says they don't play dominant characters (BDSM or personality wise), you shouldn't try to talk them into it.

  • If someone says they don't double, you don't have the right to insult them or tell them they are being selfish.

It is never selfish to have boundaries.

What is selfish is trying to force someone to do something they are not interested in for your own self-gratification.

Failure to accept 'no' as an answer can lead to being reported for harassment and bullying.

While we try to push our users to handle issues of this caliber on their own, it will be marked in our files that a user has trouble behaving when told no. Too many of these reports will lead to actions being taken.

We are a site built on respect and understanding.
So, if a user isn't able to respect another user when told no, they may need to rethink if Writing Home is the place for them.
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